Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Am I Losing it?

When i was young all my friends say im very tough hard rock hearted person.Sometimes sense of sensitivity reached to ZERO.I admit that im a bit tomboyish person.Lets see,heres the list why i said such a thing.

1.most of my friends are male.

2.my bestfriend is a boy.

3.everytime i hang out with friends the group will be all boys and one female *thats me*

4.im good in all boys sports. example football,basketball,futsal,street soccer,skateboarding.

5.i hate wearing make up.apetahlagi nak beli.

6.i dont buy all the girly2 geddik stuff.

7.im horrible in dressing.

8.instead all the girls buy girls magazine such as Remaja,Hai,Cleo, ect.ect. i buy comics,lots of lots of comics.

9.my hair always short.if its too long i will have a haircut instantly.

10.i love playing video games.i want a PSP one day.

11.i dont easily cry even movies or the drama is sooo sad.

12.i dont afraid of height.

13.u can put me in the middle of the jungle or wood at night.soory,it does not scares me at all.*well,mayb a little bit*

14.all the muhasabah diri activities that i attend during my camps,motivation, i dont cry at all.hell yes.all the fasi out there will try to do anything to make us one.is that a bad sign?

15.trylah maki hamun,marah, or anything sewaktu dgnnya.trust me,i wont cry.serius.

16.i more into songs yang memekak dan membengitkan telinga compare to the sentimentel songs.

u see now? until....NOW.As i grew older, this as i called it advantages, to me haha. trying to run away from me.i cant even handle my own emotion.maybe bcoz theres so many things happen to me,maybe becoz of the enviroment i surrounded with,or mayb because that the age,from a teenage to an adult or i would call it as a MOTHER makes the hormon changes.*ok,this is stupid* sometimes i even ask my self,
"this is not me",
"this is isnt me",
"this totally not me at all,"
"heck! i cry about this such thing? "
soo on.im losing it.i even easily 'terasa'.simple, I BECOME A SENSITIVE PERSON.i dont like that.it feels bad to me.before this i dont aware about my changes untill these past few days...heres some incident that made my both eyes covered with water.lol.

incident 1. my futsal plan had been cancel coz their buzyness.

incident 2. my mum nagging at me because i wake up late

incident 3. when i watched a movie called A Walk To Remember

incident 4.i got rejected during a work interview

incident5.my ex just left me alone after i work hard to pass back his camera.*thank god he sent sorry message after that*

incident 6.i made lunch for someone but end up the person is having a seminar.

incident 7.i sent a very happy mood msg but the reply i got was sucks.

incident 8.an ex enemy called me BITCH.

incident 9.i dont get support when i got two jobs at the klcc.


see.im losing it.i realise all the main coz are all small tiny miny matter.there nothing to sad about it? but why? i dont get it.i even failed to control my emotion, my feelings.wadafak! is this because i lost my tomboyish attitude? please please somebody help me.I dont like this kind of changes.its like eating me up.

sekian.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

my dear..im really sori if i hurt u n dissapointed u..

k,akak blanje breakfast dis sunday nak? weEeE~

pharie said...

hadoi.i never tot that u would read crap blog nie..*blushing...*

belanja? yesh! sape tamao org belanja.rezeki xleh ditolak.yey! XD

Anonymous said...

bukti kangah sudah lose it:

blog page yang pink dan berkaler2, serta berbatik2.

pharie said...

cis.mane jumpe blog ak nie? cepat tol tersebar.